How to Fight for Joy
I came across one of my old journals.
I remember placing a high value on that maroon leatherbound journal, but as I excavated it from the back of my bookshelf, I couldn’t quite remember why?
I cracked it open, began to read, and it all came flooding back to me.
Back then, gratitude and “thanksliving” were the overarching themes of my life. I was in the thick of it with three small kids and on one of the pages of my journal I wrote in giant letters, “if you don’t fight for joy it’s your children who lose.”
When I first read that statement, I thought, “dang, that’s a firm statement. I wonder what’s behind that?”
I was shocked by what followed.
To be honest, as I reflect on my years as a young mom, I rarely focus on all the things I did right. I usually feel a familiar ache in my belly, and entertain regretful thoughts about how I fell short, how I barely kept it together, or how I wish I would have done things better. I have never stopped to examine if these thoughts and feelings were actually true.
That 30-something, spread-thin, exhausted “me” did something profound.
She wrote down 1,287 beautiful things she was thankful for. She fought for her joy by setting out every day to find beauty and goodness. And she also left behind a healing balm for the now “older me” to discover.
#956 Just when I was feeling the worst today, Jack ran up to me and said, “Hi mommy, you’re my lovey.”
#957 The soft, rosy pink shade of Brooklyn’s cheeks and the sparkle of her bright blue eyes.
#958 Chase’s confidence as he proudly wore his florescent orange base layers under his shorts to school.
#968 Friends that pray for me.
#974 My new coffee pot and the yummy coffee it makes!
#115 Smallness… I can see today that all wonder and worship can only grow out of smallness.
Each entry was just a simple, silly thing that unleashed the power of joy and gratitude in my life. I felt it then, and I’m feeling it all over again now as I read about what my life once was.
The emotion of joy and the practice of gratitude are inexplicably bound and they impact our well-being in significant ways. Gratitude exercises reduce anxiety and dump yummy brain chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine into the bloodstream. It’s also been said that joy is the emotion that makes life worth living in the moment because it resonates most closely with our core identity.
Nothing assaults our identity more than lies.
What I thought was true of my parenting and my life was just a distorted lie of the things I broadly remember. As my eyes fell upon page after page of the daily gifts I had been given, the lies of “not enoughness” and regret were replaced with truth and joy. I was far from perfect, and my brokenness has most certainly affected my children, but for today, I’m choosing to drink in grace. These 1,287 short-hand notes are a small snapshot of my story, and I’m choosing to embrace the collective whole of my story.
The fight for joy is worth it.
It’s not just our children who lose when we refuse to fight for joy, it’s our very own soul that suffers the most.
I am certain that the forty-something “me” will have something essential for the “older me” to remember ten years from now. I just have to write what’s true down for her.
Want to Join Me?
Our lives are better than we think and God is way better than we could ever imagine.
Start small & simple:
Write 3 things down that you are thankful for each day. Try to be specific and unique. Hunt for the small things that seem to stand out.
Notice how you feel as you do this. Gratitude is the highest form of thinking, so soak this awesome sauce in.
Look back on your prompts at the end of each month. Small moments write a rich story of strength and beauty. They also serve as guideposts for the movement of God in our lives.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
If you’ve ever questioned if God is active in your life, this will prove it. He is constantly communicating His love, acceptance, and approval in big, and small ways. May we all have open eyes and open hearts to notice it.